For the Legitimate Business Club. Our Deepest Regards.

There was a Gnome called Taipia,

She whined an awful lot,

When she was arrested,

She lied unto the Watch.

Now she's dead and buried,

Oh no wait, she's not,

She's lying in the Pig's Basement,

What a filthy lot!

The rats are having a party,

Feasting on some Gnome,

Thanks to Mr Disto,

She's never coming home.

By Mr and Mrs Stormbolt