Buried without coffin.
Posted April 3rd, 2008 by Trynian
Page 40
ay 63. Acrona is smart. Very smart. She knows of things I never heard of. I think she knows of my plans. She has seen them through. Or perhaps I am mistaken, perhaps she just hides everything behind that mask she calls a face. No expressions, hard to understand ... Why were not all Vanguards this way. Nothing would be able to stop us then.
Eliras is sweet to me. She treats me like a god, even though I feel so much older ever since I initiated the Vanguards. I know she loves me. She does not doubt me. I think a new cause is being born, now not formed in my head, but in my heart. But my goal is still far from reached.
Page 57
Day 77. I have appointed guardians within the Order. I fear for both my own life and that of my wife. Yes, I already call her my wife. This love is something I have never experienced before. I feel that, with every second now, it grows, and yet is so tested, by the outer world and Vanguards. It seems impossible to combine the two. I know that one day I will have to make the choice. I already know where my choice will lay. Or with whom. Gishna will do well, as will Bhrealice. Both seem worthy enough. But alot of Bhrealice's men are purely chosen on friendship. She did not consider their capabilities. She's not a leader, she's not meant to be. And worst of all, her loyality is something dishonorful, not only to the ones she serves, but to herself aswell. From what I can see, it is not loyality, but a need to belong. I know that this will cause trouble.
Page 60
Day 81. I love her with both heart and mind now. Nothing can keep us apart anymore. I have lost track of time, and am unwilling to look it up, but it truly feels as if Eliras and I have spent years and years together. The Vanguards are of lesser importance now. Everything is starting to lose its value.
* A red book lays on the table in a house, somewhere deep in Winterspring. It does not seem to belong there, as dust has not yet marked its presence *
Notes of a Goldhand
* No dates can be found on the pages. Only strange, X-shaped crosses. They may mean nothing *
Page 5
Day 5. I am tired. The Vanguards complete their training well. We've grown fast, perhaps too fast. I can feel the stupidity of some, the childish behaviour of others. Some think I am naïve enough to not see through the fact they consider this a club of friendship. I'll show them they are mistaken. I'm certain they have never seen a drill-training, ever before, in their entire life. Look at the mess they create. Look at them! A bunch of ...
Page 20
Day 26. Things are going better. I have experienced new love. I doubted before engaging it. But I feel that it is right. Eliras is her name, and though I am not the man who likes love on first sight, I still am willing to allow our love. If it is love.
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Day 30. The Vanguard Order does not see. They are blind, as blind as both captains could ever be. They do not see the problems in advance, they only engage them and try to fix them instantly. Oh how I hate this impatience. I remember the words of the Arch Inquisitor: "Oh, Yes it does, but I need alot of patience." They might have meant nothing, but they were a very big lesson to me. This world involves on patience. That is why it is still so old. Eliras loves me. I am yet to find out if it is me she loves or my post. She conquered my heart already, however. Finding out won't help me much.
Page 40
ay 63. Acrona is smart. Very smart. She knows of things I never heard of. I think she knows of my plans. She has seen them through. Or perhaps I am mistaken, perhaps she just hides everything behind that mask she calls a face. No expressions, hard to understand ... Why were not all Vanguards this way. Nothing would be able to stop us then.
Eliras is sweet to me. She treats me like a god, even though I feel so much older ever since I initiated the Vanguards. I know she loves me. She does not doubt me. I think a new cause is being born, now not formed in my head, but in my heart. But my goal is still far from reached.
Page 57
Day 77. I have appointed guardians within the Order. I fear for both my own life and that of my wife. Yes, I already call her my wife. This love is something I have never experienced before. I feel that, with every second now, it grows, and yet is so tested, by the outer world and Vanguards. It seems impossible to combine the two. I know that one day I will have to make the choice. I already know where my choice will lay. Or with whom. Gishna will do well, as will Bhrealice. Both seem worthy enough. But alot of Bhrealice's men are purely chosen on friendship. She did not consider their capabilities. She's not a leader, she's not meant to be. And worst of all, her loyality is something dishonorful, not only to the ones she serves, but to herself aswell. From what I can see, it is not loyality, but a need to belong. I know that this will cause trouble.
Page 60
Day 81. I love her with both heart and mind now. Nothing can keep us apart anymore. I have lost track of time, and am unwilling to look it up, but it truly feels as if Eliras and I have spent years and years together. The Vanguards are of lesser importance now. Everything is starting to lose its value.
Page 153
Day 124. We are nearing the end now. Close to four months in existence, and the Order has reached more than anybody could every imagine. It is time to stop. I feel that everything is endangering my person and my wife, even more. We have grown too strong. We are growing oppositions we can easily crush and defeat. But the Vanguards have tired me enough. They remain wounded alot, and not because of fights with demons or other unimportant beasts, no, because of their clumsiness. Let me write that again, clumsiness.
Page 156
Day 128. We decided to end it. It pained me, none-the-less, to say goodbye. Freetown has been crushed. I had four days to enjoy this. Now, it all ends here. All? No ... Eliras is the one I do this for. She is the one truly loved all the time. Curse those who dared challenge our love or criticise it. They have never felt it. They do not know. And as I once said ... they remain oh so naïve. They can not act without leadership. They depended too much on one. Now they'll pay that price. Let's see if anybody will ever be able to build something greater than The Vanguard Order. Let's see if anybody will ever be able to reinstall order after this. A new time is being innitiated, while the time of the Vanguards ends. My time has come aswell. I must step down. I did not reach my goal, if it ever was my true goal. I reached something greater than I had planned, however. *A snapshot of Eliras rests in between this page.*
